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October 11, 2008
6 Weeks Post Partum
My post-partum appointment went well. It was sad saying goodbye to my doctor, and the staff at his office. With all the appointments I had being pregnant three times over the past five years, I really got to know everyone, and I will miss them.
Baby Jake is now smiling. It is the best! It starts with a sweet little toothless grin and then his blue eyes light up too. I can hardly believe he is already six weeks old. It is amazing how slowly a day seems to go, but then how quickly the weeks pass by.
I have an appointment with my endocrinologist at the end of the month. I’m a little nervous. I feel like I don’t remember what it is like to just have diabetes (not pregnant with diabetes). How do I go back to caring for myself without the motivation of a developing baby? I’ve been thinking I might try to use my CGM (continuous glucose monitor) for a week or so before my appointment so I can bring those results to my doctor. But right now the thought of figuring out how it all works again is a bit daunting and time consuming. (I hardly have time to keep my house in some kind of order, how would I manage to find the time to sit down again with my CGM and get it all hooked up and working?) I feel like I need an entire day to be “trained” again on how to use my CGM. Plus, I’m not confident that I know how to best use the information so that I’m not bouncing back and forth from lows to highs and highs to lows. Then of course there is the thought of something else waking me through the night. (The CGM will alarm if your blood sugar goes to low or high.) Right now a nursing six-week old who is up every two or three hours is about all the night waking I can handle. The beeping or buzzing of the CGM might make me crazy.
So, maybe I’ll put the CGM on again to give it another shot before seeing my doctor. That way I can bring any questions or problems that come up with me to the appointment. But then again, the weeks may just fly by again, and all my good intentions will be too late because it will be time for my appointment. Sometimes I wish I could just not worry about any of it. Just have a day without worrying about diabetes, blood sugars, and food.
Lately I’ve been wondering how much time in a day I actually spend thinking about my diabetes. From testing a blood sugar, to counting carbs, planning a meal, changing a pump site, trying to exercise, planning doctor’s appointments (and all that’s involved with child care), and then to wondering how it’s all affecting my kids. And of course there is always that fear… why is she drinking so much water today? Is his diaper extra full? Will any of my babies end up with diabetes too? Would all that thinking and worrying add up to only minutes, or would it in fact be hours? How much time does diabetes consume of my life? Have you ever added it up? Maybe it’s better not to. These thoughts have been consuming me lately, so I’ll come back to all this in another entry, but right now, I’ve got to get some sleep…
Have a wonderful week,
Laura
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