I have always known I wanted children.Even when I was a young girl I enjoyed caring for others. I grew up babysitting, whether it be one of my own siblings (I am the eldest of four), or for a neighbor or friend of the family, I loved it.Having my own children was just always part of my plan.
So when I was diagnosed with type I diabetes at nineteen, the very first question I had for the doctor was, “Can I still have children?”Luckily my doctor answered yes.I would be considered a “high-risk” pregnancy, but if I took good care of myself and managed my diabetes, I would be able to have children one day.Fortunately, I was diagnosed at a time when pregnancy is an option for women with diabetes and by a doctor who knew that.My diagnosis would have been so much more devastating for me had her answer been, “I’m so sorry, but no.”
I think it was a month or so after my diagnosis that it hit me how much my life had changed while everyone around me was still living life exactly as before.There was just something isolating about this new disease...
For my final type 1 column, I want to say thank you for reading because sharing my thoughts and inspirations with you lovely women of Diabetes Sisters over the last year has allowed me to feel a part of something bigger. Diabetes-whether it’s type 1, type 2, or gestational-can feel very isolating at times. I think the best part about Diabetes Sisters is that it can help women feel a little less isolated. I hope that by telling my stories, my worries, my fears, and my frustrations (have I written anything positive? Yikes!) has reached some of you out there. I hope my writing has allowed a little recognition, and the feeling that you were not alone.
Sometimes I wonder what my diet would be like if I didn’t have diabetes. It’s pointless to wonder, but I do it all the same. I wonder if food, and how I feed my kids would be less of a big deal if I wasn’t diabetic. Maybe I would just eat when I was hungry and feed my kids when they were hungry instead of being so fixed on a schedule...I’ll never know. I’m thinking about all this because I’m working on an essay about feeding my boys for my Chronic Mamas column at Literary Mama (www.literarymama.com). I’ve been working on various aspects of this essay for a long time, and I feel like I never get it quite right. In the essay, I write about growing up with hippie parents who fed us food from the garden and limited our sugar intake and eventually became vegetarians, and how all I wanted was to eat the kind of lunches my friends were eating at school. Then I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at 14-years-old, and how that further restricted the food I could eat.
No, not me...I’m writing about this important topic for Diabetes Health and am happy to report that even though I am the mother to two boys, I’ve learned so much from my research! My oldest son, Will, is seven years old and I wish I had been so “connected” when I was pregnant with him. I remember feeling so isolated, I was the only person I knew that was pregnant and diabetic, and at times, I felt a little sorry for myself. Since that time, I’ve researched the history of diabetes and pregnancy and I know that I am lucky to be living in a time where pregnancy and diabetes don’t equal disaster. But still, still, it can be a lonely time and it doesn’t have to be thanks to organizations like Diabetes Sisters, so thank you Brandy!
